Witless For the Prosecution
by Mona
Summary: Kim is the only one who can help Ron when he is falsely accused of grand theft. Now complete.
1. Exposition

"Witless For the Prosecution"   
An original Kim Possible fanfic by Mona and John "Herodotus" Wax  
  
Disclaimer: All characters from the show are copyright Disney. While used without permission, they are used with respect. All non-KP characters are the creation of the authors.   
  
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -- Sherlock Holmes  
  
"I have graded your Geometry exams," announced Mrs. Canid to her class. It was ten minutes to the afternoon bell at Middleton High School. "I was pleasantly surprised at some of your scores, but disappointed at others." The teacher began to pass out the graded tests.   
  
Kim Possible squeezed her palms together. _Let me pass. I tried to find time to study, but was so busy with that English essay and the new set of cheers, AND preventing an evil psycho from melting the North Pole. _A face down sheet of paper landed on her desk. _Oh, why can't Geometry be as simple as algebra? _  
  
Bonnie Rockwaller waved her own paper. "I got a 100%!" She shot a glance in her main rival's direction.   
  
_Oy_, Kim thought. She could practically read 'Top that' in Bonnie's expression. She flipped the paper over. A bright red 75 was written at the top. _See me after class_ was also written in Mrs. Canid's loopy handwriting.   
  
The bell rang.   
  
Mrs. Canid clapped her hands. "The class has ended. Go in peace."   
  
Kim waited until the room was empty, then trudged to her teacher's desk.   
  
"I'll be honest with you. I'm a little concerned about your grades in my class," began the teacher. "Your average has dropped from an A- to a B-. I'm sure you know report cards go out in two weeks. If you get below a C on your report card, you can kiss the cheerleading squad good-bye."   
  
"No!" gasped Kim. Without thinking, she blurted out, "Bonnie will never let me live it down!"   
  
Mrs. Canid chuckled. "Oh, yes. I've known girls like Bon-Bon. In high school, this one gal -- Lucretia Miller -- stepped on my favorite white blouse with her muddy boot one morning. I had to go the rest of the day with a big black footprint on my front. My first name is Stephanie. I was known the rest of the year as 'Step on Me.' "   
  
"Ouch. Major embarrassment."   
  
"Anyway, a girl from one of my other classes volunteered to tutor you after school. Perhaps you know her. Does the name 'Lin Vincibel' ring a bell?"   
  
"Not really."   
  
"She wants you to meet her in the library after your cheerleading practice."   
  
"All right."   
  
"The Mad Dogs are first rate! We're the best in the state! Go, Mad Dogs! Go, Mad Dogs!"   
  
Bonnie clapped her hands. "That's a wrap." The squad disassembled and dispersed. "So, Kim, what did you get on your test?"   
  
"What test?"   
  
"The one we got back today in Geometry?"   
  
_If I told her what I really got, she'll have it all over the school by Monday. Lying doesn't seem like such a good idea either. _  
  
The gym door opened. In stepped Kim's best friend, Ron Stoppable. Ron was staggering under the weight of a large beverage cooler. "Whoa!" The container crashed to the floor. The lid opened, spilling bright green liquid on the gym floor -- and a certain brunette cheerleader's uniform.   
  
Bonnie shrieked. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to rinse that stuff out of your uniform?" She stormed off, wringing her skirt.   
  
Kim sighed. "Thank you."   
  
A naked molerat leaped from Ron's pants pocket and eagerly began to lap up the remaining fluid in the cooler.   
  
"Rufus! Don't drink that! It's worse than Mountain Dew with sixty pixie sticks." Ron groaned. "I wonder if naked mole rats get hyper. So, Kim, what are we doing today?"   
  
"I have to go to the library for tutoring. Know anyone named Lin Vincibel?"   
  
"She's in my Geometry class. Always gets perfect scores on tests and always answers the board questions in class."   
  
"Stoppable!" shrilled a deep voice. "I asked you to refill the power drink vat! Coach wants it ASAP!" Mr. Barkin entered and shot a look at the splattered liquid on the floor. "Never mind. I'll get it myself. You're dismissed."   
  
Ron picked up his backpack. "Love to stay, but gotta jet. My mother's birthday is next week and I still have to buy a present. Come on, Rufus."   
  
Kim turned and headed for the school library. She pulled open the glass door and scanned the area. The librarian was shelving books. Several students, none of whom she recognized, were reading or talking in hushed voices.   
  
"Kim," came a whisper from one of the tables. Lin Vincibel was seated on one of two chairs. Half the table was covered in sharpened pencils, stacks of books on math, and pictures of Euclid and Pythagoras. She was slim, wearing a white blouse complete with pocket protector as well as thick glasses. "Welcome."   
  
"Can you do me a favor?"  
  
"Sure. What?"   
  
"Don't tell ANYONE you're doing this for me."   
  
"My lips are sealed. One session will probably do the trick anyway. Your problem is that you understand the algebra, but get confused on the way it's incorporated into the shapes."  
  
"Exactly. Homework takes forever since I have to keep looking back at my notes and then I totally freeze on tests."   
  
"You'll just need a few memory tricks."   
  
An hour later, Kim put down her pencil. "Thanks so much for this. My position on the cheerleading squad is safe, and my study time's been torn in half."  
  
"Don't mention it."   
  
"I mean it. Let's go eat dinner. Ever gone to Bueno Nacho?"  
  
"I don't usually eat Mexican food. Too much monosodium glutamate, but I guess one little burrito won't hurt."   
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"I know I shouldn't be gossiping, but how can you stand that Bonnie girl? Could she stand to get over herself a little."   
  
"You hit the nail on the head." Kim laughed. "By the way, why are you even at this school?"  
  
"A genius I am not." Lin popped a nacho in her mouth and swallowed. "I only know a little about a lot of things. Five years ago, I attempted to test out of middle and high school. It didn't work out."   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"The deal was this: any child who could win first place on a TV game show called _Whiz Kid_ would be skipped ahead. I won second place after being ousted by a five year old who's since graduated from high school AND college. It was so embarrassing. If only I could remember his name."  
  
"Short, pudgy, thick dark hair, lives on a diet of chips and fruit fizzies?"   
  
"Yes. How did you know?"  
  
Kim's jaw dropped. "Wade?"   
  
"You know him?"   
  
"Sort of. He runs my web site. Never seen him up close and personal though."   
  
Lin checked her watch. "Eight o' clock! I have to go home and finish my homework."   
  
"On a Friday night?"   
  
"What else is there to do?"   
  
"Never mind."  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The next morning, Dr. Possible shook her daughter awake. "Wakey, wakey, Kimmie-Wimmie."   
  
"No, Mommy. I don't wanna look at brains for Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work Day."   
  
"Kimmie, wake all the way up!"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Ron's here."   
  
"This early?" Kim rolled over, landing on the floor with a crash.   
  
"Hey, Jim! Look at this!" Tim, one of Kim's twin brothers, spewed milk through his ears.   
  
"Awesome! Let me try!" Jim gulped down a glass of milk and snorted. The foamy white liquid flowed out of his nostrils.   
  
"You have to snort while it's still in the esophagus so it'll go through the Eustachian tube," explained Tim.   
  
"I never learned that one," commented Ron. "You're going to have to teach me."   
  
"Gross," came Kim's voice from the hallway. The doorbell rang. "I'll get that." She opened the front door. A trio of police officers was standing on the doorstep. "May I help you?"   
  
The tallest of the threesome, obviously their leader, held up a badge. "Officer Yurin Deeptrouble, Middleton Police Department. We need to ask you a few questions, Miss Possible."   
  
"Come on in."   
  
Officer Deeptrouble held up a photo of Ron. "Know this guy?"   
  
"Yes. That's my friend, Ronald Stoppable. Why?"   
  
"I'll be asking the questions. Do you know where he was last night from around 5:30 through 7:00?"   
  
"No. I was with someone else at the time."  
  
Ron came in. "What's with the cops?"   
  
Officer Deeptrouble stepped forward, but one of his comrades held him back. "What is it, Marguerite?"   
  
"Can't we at least wait until we've got more evidence?"   
  
"Evidence of what?" asked Kim.   
  
"Fine. Phobe, search his pocket."   
  
"Roger." Phobe, the third officer, reached into Ron's cargo pants pocket and drew out Rufus. Both screamed.   
  
Phobe leapt into Marguerite's arms, who threw him down. She glared at him. "It's just a little naked mole rat. I have one myself. Her name's Aphrodite."   
  
Ron stroked his startled pet. "It's okay, Rufus. He's just a big doofus."   
  
Officer Deeptrouble sighed. "I meant the other one. Never mind. I'll do it myself." He reached into the other pocket and pulled out his fist. "I trust this is enough for you, Marg."   
  
"What evidence? What's going on here?" demanded Kim.  
  
Deeptrouble opened his fist, revealing three sparkling diamonds.   
  
Ron chuckled nervously. "How did those get in there?"   
  
"We received a report of stolen diamonds. A blonde teenager and a hairless rodent were caught on the surveillance camera." He handed the gemstones to his female colleague. "Ronald Stoppable, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you." Officer Deeptrouble clamped a handcuff on Ron's wrist.   
  
"But I didn't do it!" insisted Ron. "This is a case of mistaken identifiable!"   
  
"You can't do this!" snapped Kim.  
  
"Miss Possible, attempting to hinder justice is a federal offense. You of all people should know that."   
  
"Shut up, Yurin," snapped Marguerite. She turned to Kim. "We're just going to take Ron downtown and ask a few questions. You can come with us if you'd like."   
  
"No mug shots?" asked Ron.   
  
"No mug shots. I promise. Besides, no one on our squad drinks coffee."   
  
Officer Deeptrouble threw up his hands. "Fine." He turned toward the door. "Coming, Phobe?"   
  
"I want to keep three feet between me and that vicious animal!"   
  
Rufus stuck out his tongue.   
--------------------------------------------------------------  
Ron sat down on a small metal chair. A bare light bulb hung above his head.   
  
"At exactly 6:34 PM last night, the Clutchcoin family was robbed. Only one thing was stolen from their concrete safe: a necklace containing six colorless diamonds and three rubies. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way, you'll talk," began Officer Deeptrouble. "It's your choice."   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't steal those jewels," answered Ron.   
  
"Hard way, then." Deeptrouble reached for the flashlight at his waist and coughed. "My throat's getting dry. Phobe, take over for me."   
  
"Uh...okay. Has that beast had all his shots?"  
  
"I meant about the burglary!"   
  
Marguerite rolled her eyes. "Yurin, can't you admit maybe this kid's telling the truth?"  
  
"Three words. Open and shut."   
  
"Weren't you listening in police academy? There are very few open and shut cases."   
  
"You've got to straighten out these crooks. Show them no mercy. That's how you earn respect."  
  
"Respect?" Marguerite laughed. "Every teenager in Middleton hates you!" She turned back to Ron. "Where were you last night, then?"   
  
"I was all over Middleton."   
  
"Doing what?"   
  
"Shopping for a birthday gift for my mother."   
  
"That's so sweet," sighed Marguerite. "My brothers would never give my mother anything--"  
  
Phobe leaned closer to her. "I give my mother a gift every birthday, Christmas, and Mother's Day." He attempted to catch his balance as his coworker shoved him away. "Whoa!" He grabbed a small table for support, but toppled anyway.   
  
"Never mind, Phobe." Deeptrouble turned to Ron. "Due to the extremely low crime rate in Middleton, your trial is tomorrow. Marg, do you know who the prosecutor is?"   
  
Marguerite sighed. "Another one of Miranda's supposedly reformed criminals. And you're gonna love this one."   
  
"I find that a little hard to believe," commented Ron.   
  
"So who is it?" asked Phobe.   
  
"Don't know. Some mad scientist."   
  
"Mad angry or mad crazy?"   
  
"Probably both."   
  
The color drained from Ron's face. "What did he look like?"  
  
"He had black hair in a ponytail and a scar on his cheek. A real wacko if you ask me."   
  
"Dr. Drakken?!"   
  
"Yes. How'd you know?"   
  
Kim arched an eyebrow. "Whose idiotic idea was it to let Dr. Drakken practice law?"   
  
"That's what I keep telling Miranda, but does she listen? Noooo. She claims this one got a hundred on his bar exam."   
  
Ron slumped in the metal chair. "I'm dead."   
  
"So not the drama, Ron." Kim sighed. "Drakken doesn't even know your name."   
  
Dr. Drakken crossed the hall to the interrogation room. "I'll peek first."   
  
"You always peek first," whined his assistant, Shego.   
  
"I flip you for it," offered Drakken.   
  
"Fine," Shego stuck out her hand. Drakken grabbed it and flipped her over his head. The hapless assistant landed in a mop closet. When she stumbled out, her head was stuck in a bucket. With a snarl, she yanked it off and climbed on her boss' shoulders.   
  
"Don't you two have somewhere else to be?" The voice behind them sounded firm and annoyed. "Like maybe reviewing the evidence for the trial tomorrow?"   
  
Shego tumbled off Dr. Drakken's back and fell to the floor. Her boss tripped over her and landed with a crash on his substantial bottom.   
  
Miranda Wright sighed. "Why do I even try?"   
  
"KP, I have something to ask you."   
  
"What, Ron?"   
  
"Be my lawyer."   
  
"What?!"   
  
"You've foiled Drakken's plans plenty of times. Is this really any different?"   
  
"Well, yeah, but I've never practiced law before! I've never attended law school--"   
  
"Your web site says you can do anything. I'm sure practicing law without a license is covered. The point is, you're not an evil, bloodsucking lawyer."   
  
"The point is, would they let me?"   
  
"Why not?" asked Marguerite. "This is juvenile court, and she is a juvenile."   
  
Officer Deeptrouble sighed. "Fine, fine, fine. If Miranda's 'reformed' criminal really did get 100% on his bar exam, he'll win the case and our defendant will be locked away."   
  
"That seems a little unfair," commented Phobe as Rufus bared his rather large front teeth. "Eeep...maybe it is fair!"   
  
"Good grief, Phobe. Not this rodent trepidation of yours," sighed Officer Deeptrouble.   
  
"It's not a trepidation! When I was a little kid, I was chased out of my grandparents' house by a mouse the size of a stationwagon."   
  
"Why didn't I think of that?" asked Drakken from behind the door.   
  
"Beats the nano-tick idea," Shego hissed back.   
  
Miranda groaned again.   
  
Kim turned toward the door. "Excuse me. I have to make a call." She threw the heavy wooden door, open, hitting Dr. Drakken in the face and walked down the hall.   
  
Shego peeled her boss from the door. "Are you all right?"   
  
"Mommy, can we go ride the horsies again?" asked the rather dazed mad scientist.   
  
"So, what's our new case, Bailiff?" asked Judge Bettina Strickley.   
  
"You're not gonna like this..."   
  
End of Chapter One  
  



	2. Preparations

"D, C, and H -- thank you." Kim said to three faces on the Kimmunicator's screen. "You've helped a lot."   
  
"No problem," said Dewey.   
  
"After you saved our law firm!" added Cheatham.   
  
"Oh, go on with you now. Those crooked landlords didn't even read the fine print!"   
  
"You're one in a million, Kim Possible," finished Howe.   
  
"Well, I have to go begin defending my best friend, so I better zoom. Bye!" The teenager turned off her electronic device and walked back to the interrogation room. The three officers had left.   
  
Miranda extended her hand. "Welcome to the league of law. I'm Miranda Wright, Drakken and Shego's parole officer. I'm here to make sure they don't try anything funny."   
  
Dr. Drakken looked coolly at her. "Ah, Kim Possible. My teenaged adversary. Welcome to courtroom law."   
  
"You? Administer justice? So not!"   
  
"So...yes, I can."   
  
"What do you know about law?" snapped Kim.   
  
Drakken reached into the knapsack Shego held. "I've read several books cover-to-cover." He pulled out a thick tome. "_Law For the Rehabilitated Criminal_, our main textbook." He tossed it at his opponent. "_Law. Le Law, _and _More Law_." He threw them in the same direction. "_So Sue Me! Law For Stupids." _  
  
"That last one really suits you," muttered Shego.   
  
_"Justice. Serves You Right. _And my personal favorite, _Laws Meant to Be Broken_!"   
  
Kim climbed out of the pile of books. "Drakken, I have the right to view the evidence you plan to present against Ron before the trial."   
  
"Really? I don't recall reading that."   
  
Shego snatched up a heavy volume entitled _Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Law, But Were Too Afraid to Ask_. "As much as I hate to prove Kim Possible right, I have to correct you so you don't look like a fool out there. Here...page 2002."   
  
"I must have missed that part. But very well." Drakken reached into his pocket and drew out a videocassette. "Here's a copy of the tape from the surveillance camera. Shego!"   
  
"Yes, your majesty?" she replied sarcastically.   
  
"Give me that list of the witnesses I'm calling tomorrow."   
  
"Get it yourself! Do I look like your secretary?!"   
  
"Then there may have to be a salary cutback--"   
  
"Oh, is that what you call it?" Shego snorted and handed Kim a sheet of paper.   
  
Miranda pointed out the door. "It's time to meet the jurors. Walk this way." Her parolees imitated her way of walking as they left.   
  
Kim glanced at the dove-gray stationery. Printed in black ink was a list of six witnesses. Officer Yurin Deeptrouble, Middleton Police Department. Al Arm, Security Expert. Marquis Adamas, jeweler. Steve Barkin, teacher. Hettie Cephalus, zoologist. Also listed were phone numbers and addresses.   
  
Ron peeked over her shoulder. "I guess the mad scientist actually did his homework."   
  
"Ron, I gotta jet."   
  
"KP, don't leave me here!"   
  
"I have to go buy something suitable to wear. I can't walk in the courtroom with a bare midriff!"   
  
"I'm so glad I have jury duty tomorrow. I hope that teenage punk gets locked up until he's an old man!"   
  
Drakken chuckled. "You'll do nicely."   
  
"It's time to meet our defendant," said the Bailiff cheerily.   
  
Judge Strickley snorted. "A teenage burglar?"   
  
"Alleged. Nothing's been proven."  
  
"It's guilty until proven innocent."   
  
"Uh...wasn't it the other way around?"   
  
"Not in my court!" Strickley patted her mass of gray curls.   
  
"I like your hair, by the way."   
  
"Thank you. Horrible teenagers ruined it, so I had to get a perm." She sighed. "And if our defendant doesn't compliment me on it, I'll add ten years to his sentence."   
  
"Harsh, aren't we?"   
  
"It's what being president of the Middleton Against Teenagers Society is all about!"   
  
Kim opened the door to her bedroom and hung a garment bag on the back of her door. "Thank the fashion gods Club Banana had their trendiest business suit in my size." She reached into her bag and drew out the videotape Drakken had given her, then popped it into the VCR.   
  
The tape showed a dimly-lit hallway ornately decorated with maroon carpeting and suits of armor. A medium-height figure dressed in a long black coat and a black beret stole toward a gilt-framed portrait.   
  
_It shouldn't be too hard to prove Drakken wrong, _thought Kim. _That could be anyone Ron's height. And that's about half of Middleton. Why else would they call it 'average' height?_  
  
The figure reached the portrait and lifted it off the wall, revealing a large concrete safe. The burglar reached into his pocket and held something pink to the safe door, near the lock. There was a barely audible sound. Like...grinding? The figure retracted the item and popped it back in his pocket. He poked a hook in the hole and drew out a gleaming platinum necklace. He put it in his pocket and turned to leave.   
  
"Hold it right there!" came a voice.  
  
The figure ran down the hall and out of the camera's sight.   
  
Kim pressed "stop." "Could that have been...Rufus?" She ran to her bookshelf and pulled out a small book titled _"The Truth about Naked Mole Rats." _Ron had given it to her for a joke gift. She flipped to the section titled 'Trivia'. "Twenty-five percent of a naked mole rat's muscles are in its jaws. They are capable of chewing through soil, rock, and even concrete..." _Ron? A burglar? _She shook her head. "So not. Ron would never stoop to that! At least, not without spilling the beans to me." She glanced at the screen. "But the court's going to be extremely hard to convince."   
  
End of Chapter 2 


	3. Preliminaries

Shego desperately ran her brush through her cloud of raven hair. "Rats! I am really having a bad hair day!" She glanced at her boss at the opposite end of the writing desk. "Then again, it's better than having a bad hair life."   
  
Dr. Drakken was too absorbed in reading the case file to hear her.   
  
Knock, knock. The door opened, and Officer Deeptrouble entered the room. "Prosecutor!"   
  
"Ever heard of waiting for someone to answer the door?" muttered Shego, filing her long, painted nails.   
  
"What is it?!" snapped Drakken. "I'm very busy!"  
  
The detective held up a plastic bag. "We looked over the crime scene again and found this."  
  
Drakken grinned as he opened the bag and drew out a black beret. "Thanks. I'll be sure to fit it into my case." He waited until Deeptrouble left, then turned it over and drew a blond hair from the brim. "I didn't expect this."   
****************************************************************************************  
Kim turned on the Kimmunicator. "Wade, did you find anything?"   
  
Wade hit a few keys on his keyboard. "I looked up police reports this week. The only thing besides the Clutchcoin robbery was a break-in at the hardware store."  
  
"What was taken?"   
  
"Just a small can of pink paint and a hand drill. Don't think it's relevant."   
  
"Keep me posted." The teenager sighed. "What am I going to do?" She looked around the empty room. "I know Ron's innocent, but who will believe me?"   
  
"I believe you," came a voice from the door. Marguerite leaned on the door frame. "I didn't mean to startle you, Miss Possible." She laughed slightly. "Funny, given your reputation, I thought your opinion would actually be listened to."   
  
"Not with that gargoyle for a judge," piped up Wade from the Kimmunicator.  
  
"Wade!" Kim turned off the electronic device, then adjusted the collar of the grey suit.   
  
"Why did you shut him off? He's right," joked the female police officer. "Sometimes Bettina Strickley acts like a stone statue, and it's about time someone pointed that out. Where's your friend, anyway?"   
*************************************************************************  
"What are you doing in here, Drakken?"   
  
"Can't I at least get a little chummy with my future cellmate?"   
  
"So not. I didn't take that jewelry and you know it." Ron scratched beneath his collar.   
  
The mad scientist smirked. "That may be true, as far as you know, buffoony sidekick. But when the jury sees the vast amount of evidence against you, one word will flash through their minds: guilty! And when the media finds out about it, guess what?"   
  
"We're going be watching a lot of TV?"   
  
_How does that insufferable teenage interloper deal with him,_ wondered Drakken silently.   
***********************************************************************  
"This is the last time I take a juvenile court case!" Judge Strickley declared, adjusting her black robe.   
  
"Relax, Bettie. It's only until Judge Pleaser gets back from vacation," reassured the Bailiff.   
  
"I certainly hope so. You know, this case has a funny feel to it. Could any burglar be so stupid as to leave that much evidence? And why would a teenage boy be interested in that necklace?"   
  
"Girlfriend has expensive taste?"   
  
"That wasn't funny."   
  
"I'm sorry, Judge," snickered Bailiff. "I'll stop in a second."   
**********************************************************************  
"Why did you take that necklace?" asked Drakken.   
  
"I did not."   
  
Shego was trying on lace white gloves, in lieu of her usual ray-gloves. "Could you wait until the trial?"   
  
"Shego, the preliminaries are everything! Anyway...um...Don...no, that can't be right...never mind. Those diamonds were probably meant to be a gift, which is why they were found in your possession! Everyone knows that diamonds are a girl's best friend. My lovely co-council can definitely attest to that."   
  
"Actually, I prefer emeralds." _Where have you gone, DiMaggio_, she thought to herself. "I'll be right back. I need to suit up." She left.   
  
"Well, hurry up! Trial's in five minutes!"   
  
"Ooh, plenty of time!"   
  
_Not even Kim dresses as fast as Shego,_ thought Ron to himself.   
  
To be continued  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. The Trial of Ronald Stoppable

Officer Deeptrouble turned on his walkie-talkie. "Marguerite!"   
  
"Yes, Yurin?"   
  
"Get the evidence envelope! The trial's about to begin!"   
  
"Yes, der fueher."   
  
Deeptrouble's cheeks flushed pink. "I can't help it if my mother was German," he muttered.   
  
"Don't freak out, Kim." Ron said. "Sure, my entire career as your sidekick and best friend is at stake, not to mention my reputation and my freedom. And if I'm convicted, this would turn the whole American justice system into a travesty because Drakken's the prosecutor, but no pressure."   
  
"I'm not freaking out," hissed Kim. _But I'm getting close. _She turned on the Kimmunicator. "Wade, the trial is in a few minutes. If you've got anything useful, now would be the time to disclose it."   
  
Wade tapped his keyboard. "I checked both the open and the black gem markets. There was nothing that matched the remaining loose stones of the Clutchcoin necklace. Whoever stole those jewels probably still has them."   
  
Kim thought a moment. "Ron, where exactly did you go last night?"   
  
"I stopped by the florist to order a bouquet, then I went to Delaney's."   
  
"That fancy furniture store?"   
  
"That's the one."   
  
Wade grinned. "You sure how to look suspicious." A map popped up on the Kimmunicator's screen. "Delaney's is in the neighborhood of the Clutchcoin estates."   
  
The screen blacked out. A white-gloved hand was on the power button.  
  
Kim looked up. "Shego?"   
  
"Forgive me for turning off your little toy, Kimmie," Shego laughed.   
  
Ron groaned. "They're wearing the exact same suit!"   
  
"Uh oh," squeaked Rufus.   
  
Kim scanned her rival. "I actually like the look of you in grey. It makes your skin look half-way normal."   
  
"Since when do red hair and grey go together? They clash like Titans." Shego shot back.   
  
"Oh, they went into style about the same day no brains and a briefcase did."   
  
"Kim?" came a familiar voice.   
  
Kim spun around. "Lin?"   
  
"What are you doing here?" they asked in union.   
  
"You first," offered Lin.   
  
"I'm Council for the Defense. You?"   
  
"Offering moral support for my uncle's trepidation of Order Rodentia."   
  
Phobe walked in. "It's not a trepidation. Rodents are our natural enemies."   
  
"Who, me?" squeaked out Rufus.   
  
Phobe turned to Shego. His jaw dropped.   
  
Officer Deeptrouble entered. "Phobe! Cut that out!"   
  
"Get backup, Yurin, because this girl has stolen my heart."   
  
The police officer rolled his eyes. "You're married to the police department. Now quit it!" He stamped his foot. A lace handkerchief embroidered "M" tumbled out of his pocket. The cop blushed and snatched it up, but not before everyone saw and exchanged giggles.   
  
Phobe leaned his arm on Shego's elbow. "Do you come here often?" He felt an electric shock course through his body. His head stood on end, but his backwards cap stayed on top of it. "Boy. They aren't kidding when they say love is electrifying."   
  
"Well, if it isn't Peter, Paul, and Mommy," whispered Judge Strickley under her breath as she passed by.   
***************************************************  
"All rise for her honor, the modest and unassuming Bettina M. Strickley!" announced the Bailiff. Everyone in the courtroom rose, except the man at the end of the jury box.   
  
"Zzzz..." snored the man.   
  
"Oh, great," muttered the judge. "Blue Irving has jury duty again. WAKE UP!"   
  
Blue's eyelids fluttered as he struggled to sit up. "I'm sorry, ma'am," he mumbled. "I can't help being narcoleptic."   
  
Judge Strickley sighed and took her place at the desk as everyone sat down. The stenographer sat at her left, with the witness box to her right. The prosecution and the defense were on opposite sides of the room, with the audience behind them. The jury sat at the far left. A television set with a VCR, an overhead projector, and an easel were on the far right.   
  
The Bailiff cleared his throat. "The defendant, Ronald Stoppable, is charged with burglary and grand theft. How do you plead?"   
  
"Not guilty," retorted Ron.   
  
"Yeah!" squeaked Rufus.   
  
"Prosecution, give your opening statement."   
  
Drakken stood up. "I, Dr. Drakken, aim to prove that this _unruly _teenager is guilty of all charges."   
  
"Defense?"   
  
"The opposite of what Drakken said," said Kim through clenched teeth.   
  
Shego stifled a snicker.   
  
The Bailiff ignored her. "Prosecution, call your first witness."   
  
Drakken gave his characteristic smirk. "I call Mr. Marquis Adamas to the stand."   
  
Marquis Adamas rose and sat in the witness box.   
  
The Bailiff held up a thick ream of paper. "Mr. Adamas, place your right hand on this Kim Possible episode script." The jeweler did so. "Now, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"   
  
"I do," answered Marquis.   
  
"May the questioning commence."   
  
"Is it true, Mr. Adamas," began Drakken, "That you sold the Clutchcoins the necklace in question?"   
  
"Yes. The diamonds were hand-selected by me and set." He opened a large envelope and removed a clear plastic sheet. "Diamonds are bought based on the Four C's: color, clarity, cut, and carat weight. There are very few flawless diamonds. And Mr. Clutchcoin had forgotten his anniversary and needed a necklace overnight to appease his wife, so he settled for six slightly flawed colorless diamonds. Albeit imperfect, these diamonds were still very valuable. When diamonds of such high value are sold, the diamond's characteristic cut and flaws are mapped. It's called a plot." He handed the transparency to Drakken. "These are the plots to the six diamonds in the Clutchcoin necklace."   
  
Shego turned on the overhead projector.   
  
Drakken took the evidence envelope from Marguerite and removed another transparency. "These are the plots of the diamonds found in the defendant's pocket." He projected both on the screen. "As you can see, the three found are identical to three of the Clutchcoin diamonds." He turned off the projector. "No further questions, your honor."   
  
"Would you like to question Mr. Adamas, Miss Possible?" asked the judge.   
  
"No, your honor."   
  
Marquis stepped down.   
  
"I now call Mr. Steve Barkin to the stand," continued Drakken.   
  
_What evidence could Mr. Barkin provide? _thought Kim. She shook her head. Steve Barkin was a mystery to her.   
  
The oath process was repeated.   
  
"I don't see what this is about," snapped Barkin. "Stoppable may be the clumsiest, goofiest, and most troublesome goldbrick this world has ever seen, but he'd never stoop to burglary."   
  
"Hey!" whined Ron. "Is this 'everyone insult Ron' day?" He turned to Phobe. "Do you want to insult me too?"   
  
"Not now, maybe later," the cop replied dreamily, not taking his eyes off Shego.   
  
Shego wrinkled her nose and turned her back.   
  
Dr. Drakken shook his head and held up a copy of the videotape he had previously given Kim. "Well, non-believer, I have proof that the buffoon indeed stooped to burglary!" He popped the tape in the VCR and pressed "play."   
  
_"Man...was in the forest..." _came a deep, gravelly voice.   
  
Drakken's blue skin turned red as he ejected the _Bambi _tape and replaced it with another. The entire courtroom burst out laughing. "Laugh at me, will you? Well, you won't be laughing now!" as he pressed play. He pointed at the screen. The mysterious burglar was creeping across the hall. "The camera does not lie!"   
  
"But you do, Drakken," sneered Ron.   
  
Mr. Barkin scoffed at the image. "That doesn't prove anything. You can't even see much."   
  
"The Clutchcoins put better lighting in next year's budget," quipped Al Arm.   
  
Drakken leaned in the teacher's face. "Did you see the buff--er, defendant on the night of the robbery?"   
  
"As a matter of fact, I did!" retorted Mr. Barkin. "I was buying some aspirin at the drugstore and as I was walking out, I saw Stoppable walking on the opposite side of the street. Then I saw someone crash in them. They both fell down. I didn't get a good view of who it was."   
  
"Zzzz..." snored Blue Irving.   
  
Kim smacked her forehead. "Your honor, can we please wake him up? He's missing the case."   
  
"I object!" snapped Drakken. "We know the verdict's going to be guilty anyway."   
  
"Objection overruled," replied the judge, slamming down her gavel. "WAKE UP!"   
  
The lights went out.   
  
"Storm?" asked the Bailiff.   
  
"Blew a fuse?" suggested Yurin.   
  
"Maintenance was supposed to fix this!" complained Judge Strickley.   
  
"Good morning," said Blue cheerfully.   
  
The lights came back on.   
  
Blue went back to snoring.   
  
Strickley slammed down her gavel, harder. It snapped in two. She let out a howl.   
  
The Bailiff handed her another one. "That's the sixth one you've broken this month."   
  
The narcoleptic jury member yawned and sat up.   
  
"Finally," the judge sighed. "Defendant, do you agree with what our witness has said?"   
  
"Yeah," answered Ron.   
  
"Do you know who bumped into you?"   
  
"I couldn't tell. I was too busy comforting Rufus."   
  
_How can anyone have that much affection for that beast, _pondered Phobe.   
  
"What time was it?" Kim asked Mr. Barkin.   
  
"I checked my watch. Approximately 1755 hours."   
  
"Huh?" asked half the courtroom.   
  
"Military time," explained Officer Deeptrouble. "5:55 in civilian time."   
  
"Which brings me to my next point," quipped Drakken. "The clock on the security camera says '5:30' when the burglar comes into view. The burglar takes two minutes to walk to the safe, five minutes to crack it open, two minutes to grab the necklace, and another minute to run out of view. I now call Al Arm to the stand."   
  
Mr. Barkin stepped down and Al stepped up.   
  
The Bailiff held up the episode script and swore in the security expert. "This is getting very old very fast."   
  
"Is it true, Mr. Arm, that you designed the security system the Clutchcoins use?" asked Dr. Drakken.   
  
"Yes. I installed it just last week. The fence around the property is topped by very tangled barbed wire and the gate is locked except between the guard's shifts when it opens for five minutes to let the guards and servants in and out. The swing shift begins at 5:25, so our burglar could have slipped in and taken five minutes to sneak in through a vent or through a window. The gate, made of powerful titanium steel and a very secure lock, cannot be forced. The safe itself was made of concrete a foot thick."   
  
Shego took a map of Middleton and clipped it to the easel.   
  
Drakken strolled over and pointed to a spot in Middleton's northeast side. "This is the location of the Clutchcoin house." He pointed to a square several blocks away. "Here's the drugstore. The buffoon could have left the house and run down the street past the drugstore. Anyone will a good pace could have done it."   
  
Kim stood up. "I object, your honor. 'A good pace' is not in Ron's athletic abilities."   
  
"Hey!" whined Ron.   
  
"That's a very good, thought-out objection, Miss Possible," the judge said cooly. "Overruled. Opinion cannot take the place of proven fact." She glanced at the watch on her wrist. "It's now 12:00. We'll have an hour-long restbit for lunch. Don't be late!"  
  
  
  



	5. Verdict

"Remind me, Bailiff," began Judge Strickley. "Why are we eating here?"   
  
"Why, Bettina," said the Bailiff as the two crossed the street. "It's convenient to have a bistro that's right across the street." He opened the door to the Courthouse Cafe. "After you."   
  
Strickley entered. "I see the rest of the court beat us here."   
  
Ron glanced at his sandwich as Rufus tunneled into it. "I ordered extra tomato on my BLT."   
  
Phobe lifted the bread on his own plate. There were three slices of tomato. "I think they switched ours." They swapped. The police officer lifted his new sandwich to his lips as Rufus peeked his head out. "AAAAUGH!"   
  
Rufus gasped, then giggled.   
  
Ron picked up the naked mole rat and stuck him in his pocket. "Rufus, I enjoy a good practical joke as much as you do, but don't you think that's going a little too far?"   
  
The pink rodent shook his head.   
  
"Oh, fine, but I'm not paying the medical bills when the poor guy has a heart attack."  
  
"Party pooper," squeaked Rufus.   
  
Kim held out a plate of scallops. "Try these, your honor. They're delicious."   
  
The judge glared. "I'm allergic to bivalves. A good lawyer would know that."   
  
"I'm sorry. I'll see if the cooks can cater more to your shellfish demands."   
  
"I caught that!"   
  
Drakken sat down at Ron's table. "Want to take a five-minute polygraph test?"   
  
"No. You've probably rigged the needle to go up no matter what I say." Ron picked up his tray and walked to the other side of the restaurant.   
  
"Chicken!" yelled the mad scientist after him.   
  
Shego rushed forward with a roast chicken on a platter.   
  
Phobe screamed. "There's a mouse in that corner!"   
  
Marguerite wrinkled her nose. "It's just a ball of dust."   
  
"Well, that ball of dust is walking and has a tail!"   
  
"Oh, for J. Edgar Hoover's sake!"   
  
Marguerite snatched up the 'mouse' and held it up. "Dust bunny. How on earth can you fear mice? You've faced far worse. Terrorists. Armed bank robbers. Rabid dogs. Evil girl scouts and their cookies of doom!"   
  
"At least girl scouts don't carry plague."   
  
"That's fleas," corrected Lin.   
  
"Or malaria."   
  
"Anopheles mosquito," snapped Lin, turning to her salad and punching in figures on a fancy calculator. "64 ounces of pure water, one pound of lettuce..."  
  
Marguerite turned to her plate. "Mmm."   
  
Yurin whipped out his fork. Crunch! Snort! Crinkle! Slice! Munch, munch, munch! Chomp! Slice! Burp!   
  
"I feel like such an amateur," groaned Officer Oakes.   
  
Drakken went to the dessert tray. On the plate was a single sugar cookie.   
  
Shego appeared beside him. "Guess who's gonna get that cookie."   
  
"I'm the boss!"   
  
"And I'm the one who cleans your stupid lair!"   
  
"Age before beauty!"   
  
"Pearls before swine!"   
  
"I want it!" Drakken jumped up and down. "I saw it first!"   
  
"I'll flip you for it."   
  
"Sure."  
  
Shego took her boss's arm, flipped him over her head, and snatched the prize.   
  
Drakken kicked his feet and pounded his fists in the classic temper tantrum. "WAAAAH!"   
  
"Oh, fine, you big baby," Shego broke the cookie in half and handed over the bigger piece.   
  
Phobe took out a sprig of mistletoe, then held it over Shego's head. She frowned, put on her black glove and fired a green ray from it. The sprig roasted.   
  
Marguerite read from a printout. "Wanted in eleven countries. Well versed in her ABCs: Armed robbery, bombing, conspiracy, disguise, extortion, etc. Victims have stammered various descriptions, but all agree on pale skin, long black hair, and green and black clothes. Darn it, Phobe. I'd like to say this is a step up from hitting on me, but I'm just not sure."   
  
The Kimmunicator beeped. Kim pulled it out. "Make it count, Wade."   
  
"Small update. The stolen hand drill was found in an ER trash can, painted pink. No fingerprints."   
  
"Who on earth would rob a hardware store, steal only a hand drill, paint it pink, then throw it away?"   
  
"Search me. Middleton has some pretty strange crooks.   
  
Kim looked in Drakken and Shego's direction. "That goes without saying."   
  
*************************************************************************  
Ten minutes later, everyone was back in the courtroom.   
  
Hettie Cephalus had already been sworn in.   
  
"Is it true, Ms. Cephalus, that you are a zoologist specializing in Family Bathyergidae."  
  
"That I am."   
  
"And that the defendant's pet is a naked mole rat?"  
  
"Very fine specimen."   
  
"Can a naked mole rat chew through a concrete safe?"   
  
"Their jaw muscles are powerful enough."   
  
"Ms. Cephalus, does that prove that this particular naked mole rat chewed through that safe?" interjected Kim.   
  
"No. It just proves it could have."   
  
Drakken elbowed his opponent out of the way. "I call my final witness. Officer Yurin Deeptrouble."   
  
Ron felt his throat tighten.   
  
The oath process was repeated.   
  
Drakken turned to the cop. "What did you find at the crime scene?"   
  
"We found our thief had forced a window and left no fingerprints or footprints. We took this photograph of the safe. The last thing we found was this black beret with blonde hairs stuck to it."   
  
"And everyone knows Kim Possible's sidekick can barely keep his head on straight, much less his hat!" called Drakken out gleefully.   
  
"How do you know someone else didn't just dye his hair blond and steal the necklace?" inquired Kim.   
  
"These hairs are blonde all the way to the root."   
  
Drakken cleared his throat, which was getting sore from asking all the questions. At least being the king of the world wouldn't require so much vocal effort. "You may step down, Officer. The prosecution rests."   
  
"Defense," called the judge. "Call your first witness."   
  
Kim faced the jury. "I'm sure you're all tired of hearing Drakken blow his horn."   
  
"Honk!" The myriad jury members all blew their noses.   
  
Shego clamped one hand over her mouth and ran into an alcove. Her laughter echoed through the courthouse.   
  
Kim wiped her forehead. "Your honor, may I take a brief restbit?"   
  
"Fine, Miss Possible. Five minutes -- and I'm counting!"   
  
Kim took Lin's shoulder and eased her out of the courtroom. "I need your help."   
  
"For what?"   
  
"I need you to be my witness."   
  
"WHAT?! I haven't spoken to a crowd since _Whiz Kid_."  
  
"That show was then. This is now. Now get thee to the witness stand!"   
  
"I will not!"   
  
Kim let out a deep breath, knocking her classmate over. "Yes, you will." She threw open the courtroom doors. "Your honor, I call Miss Lin Vincibel to the stand to rebuke the testimonies."   
  
Lin adjusted her glasses, and sat crossly in the witness box. "I'm not saying anything. I hate her."   
  
Judge Strickley looked quizzically at Kim. "You two...know each other?"   
  
"Yes, she's my classmate."   
  
"That would explain the hostility," hissed the Bailiff, holding out the Kim Possible episode script.   
  
Lin stood up. "Get that thing away from me."   
  
"Lynnette Elizabeth Vincibel!" called Phobe. "On behalf of your parents, I command you not to leave that box until told to do so!"   
  
"All right, Uncle. I give up." She placed her right hand on the script. "In the name of justice, in the name of honesty, and in the name of all that is fair, I, Lynnette Elizabeth Vincibel do solemnly pledge to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."   
  
Kim took the photograph from the evidence envelope. "The Prosecution believes that Rufus chewed a hole through the safe. Tell me, by what you see in that picture, does their statement hold water?"   
  
The witness stared hard at the picture for two solid minutes. "No," she concluded. "The Prosecution's statement is a sieve."   
  
"How do you know?!" snapped Drakken.  
  
"Because these marks were not made by a naked mole rat. They were made by a 2002 Constructo-Works G-6000 hand drill!"   
  
"I object!" the mad scientist shrieked. "That's simply your opinion."   
  
The judge turned to Lin. "Is it?"   
  
"It's a fact," she replied. "Would you like me to explain?"   
  
Kim grinned smugly. "I would love to hear this."   
  
"So would I," chorused the jury.   
  
"It's simple," Lin began. "First off, no animal could have made the hole. The marks are too even and too perfect. Most hand drills can drill through concrete, but would wear as it got along. Didn't happen here. The drill bit stayed sharp and cut smooth. There are only two sets capable of this type of work: the Constructo-Work's G-series and the Holey Tools' Widowmaker. The Widowmaker is way too massive for one person to hold. So are the G-1000 through G-5000. The G-7000 can fit into the palm of a hand, but doesn't have enough power to drill through a foot-thick concrete safe in that short of a time. Therefore, the drill was the slightly-larger G-6000."   
  
"Well, that just about clears up everything."   
  
Drakken was down, but not out. "That still doesn't disprove that the buffoon didn't commit the crime!"   
  
"By the way," Lin began. "How did the thief leave the Clutchcoin house?"   
  
"The back gate, you simpleton!"   
  
"How? The back gate was nearly impossible to force. Even if had been pried open, the alarm would have gone off."  
  
"That's true," added Al.   
  
"My guess is that the thief climbed the fence," stated Lin.  
  
"Now what idiot would be stupid enough to climb a barbed wire fence?!"   
  
"I learned from experience Ron doesn't have the stamina to climb any fence, must less a barbed wire one," Kim put in.   
  
"Hey!" complained Ron.   
  
"Well, you don't!"   
  
"But did you have to throw me over that fence?!"   
  
The Kimmunicator beeped. Kim yanked it out. "Go, Wade."  
  
"I want the entire court to hear this."   
  
Kim went to the TV and plugged in the Kimmunicator. Wade's face appeared on the screen.   
  
Wade held up a printout. "Dr. Gench of the Middleton Legacy Memorial Hospital says he examined a teenager who matches Ron's description. This guy came in with a sliced arm. And when the doctor took an X-ray of the arm to check for fractures, he found a piece of barbed stuck in the wound."   
  
"Eeew..." went the Twelve.   
  
"Gross indeed," commented Kim.   
  
"But that's not all," continued Wade.   
  
"Spit it out!" yelled the jury.   
  
"Three colorless diamonds were found in his possession."   
  
Drakken clenched his fists and growled. "I told him to sell them!"   
  
Everyone in the courtroom gasped.   
  
Shego smacked her forehead. _Way to go, ship sinker.   
  
_Judge Strickley stared coldly at the loose-lipped lawyer. "Do you have something to say to the court, Dr. Drakken?"   
  
"Well, um, no..."  
  
"Actually, he does!" called out Ron, flipping back his shirt collar. Imbedded in the fabric was a tiny silver chip, apparently of Wade's creation. Rufus popped it in a black box and pushed a button.   
  
"_It means when the media finds you've been convicted of a crime, they'll suspect Kim Possible, since a buffoon like you couldn't possibly pull off a scheme this big! Kim Possible's name will be dragged through the mud. No one will ever trust her again. And I'll finally be free to conquer the world!" _came Drakken's voice._  
  
"But what about being reformed? Seeing the light? Your crusade in the name of justice?" _Ron was asking._  
  
"Ha ha ha! Only an idiot would believe such a mad scientist's promises! Thanks to Shego, I cheated my way to the perfect score! And you have no way of stopping me! Ha ha ha!" _  
  
Drakken wanted the floor to swallow him up. _Trapped by my own gloating! Shego was right. I must learn to keep my big mouth shut. _  
  
"Shame on you!" chorused the Twelve.   
  
Miranda Wright frowned. "You have the right to remain silent."   
  
The femme fatale knew her rights and choose to exercise this particular one, shooting a poisonous glance at her redhaired nemesis.   
  
"This is not over, Kim Possible!" yelled Drakken as several guards yanked him out of the room. "You think you're all that, but you're not!"   
  
Once the pair had left, Judge Strickley cleared her throat. "In light of this development...I'd like to dismiss any and all charges against Ronald Stoppable. Court adjourned."   
  
A cheer went up in the courtroom.   
  
Ron leaped out of his seat. "Boo-yah!" Then remembering where he was, added, "Thank you, your honor."   
  
"See, Yurin? You _can_ trust teenagers." Marguerite kissed her partner on the cheek.   
  
"Oooh!" went the   
Yurin blushed red. "And earthly power doth then show likest the highest when mercy seasons justice."   
  
Lin stepped down from the witness box. "Kim, you did it. But with suffering comes guilt. I will never let you forget this."   
  
"Good work, Possible," congratulated Mr. Barkin. Then he heard a voice that made his blood run cold.   
  
"Oh, Stevie!" Amy Hall, known to the world as DNAmy, ran in, arms wide.   
  
Miranda consulted her clipboard. "Amy, aren't you supposed to be at the movies right now?" _Oh, well. She's not dangerous, just a bit crazy. And lovesick. No, wait. She is dangerous. _  
  
"It's so lonely going to the movies by my self," Amy whispered. "I like to go with a date that lets me cry on his shoulder."   
  
Steve Barkin had heard enough. He did the natural thing -- bolted.   
  
"Now, Stevie, you come back here!"   
  
The crowd began to disperse.   
  
When the courtroom was empty except for the Bailiff and the judge. The Bailiff was holding a box. "I have to deliver this to Middleton High."  
  
Judge Strickley lifted the flap. "Pompoms?"   
  
"Yup. They wore the old ones out."   
  
"Bailiff, did you know I was a graduate of Middleton High?"   
  
"Yeah. I also know you were an Honors student."   
  
"Bet you didn't know I was captain of the cheerleading squad."   
  
"Were you? Prove it."   
  
"All right." Strickley took two pompoms in her hands, waved them in the air, and began to cheer. "Hup two, three, four, who are we for!" She did a roll-to handstand and a back flip. "The Mad Dog Corps! Go, Mad Dogs! Go, Mad Dogs!" Pass the ball! Make the pass! Brake 'em!" A spring off the high desk, toss the pompoms in the air, triple flip in the air, land on feet, catch the pom-poms and split, all in less than a minute. "We score!"   
  
The Bailiff's mouth was wide open.  
  
"Was the pride of the Class of '79."   
  
"79? You were eighteen when you graduated, it's 2002 now...that makes you forty-one! Wow..."   
  
"I went grey early. It's hereditary. I'm only forty-one, I still have my agility."   
  
"I guess."  
  
"Perhaps I've been a little harsh on teenagers." She glanced at the yellow pompoms with nostalgia. "I've forgotten that I was one once."   
  
"We all were. But still, I thought you were much older?"   
  
"How old?"   
  
"Doesn't matter..."  
  
"How old?!"   
  
"But..."   
  
"HOW OLD?!"   
  
The Bailiff gulped. "Sixty-seven."   
********************************************************************************************  
Within five minutes, an ambulance roared through Middleton.   
  
"Hurry!" yelled the Head Paramedic to the EMTs. "There's a bailiff with a pom-pom stuck in his mouth!"   
*******************************************************************************************  
Shego held the phone receiver in one hand, the other hand twirling the cord. She was back in her original outfit. "Another one of your stupid plans has gone under."   
  
"Hey, Thomas Edison tried a hundred times before he succeeded."   
  
"Do you have another plan ready?   
  
"Of course! Every plan has a backup, and every backup has a fallback. It may not work, but I have a plan."  
  
"Hope it's better than this one. Did you really think you could keep up the pretense of 'reformed'?"   
  
"It almost worked!"   
  
"Yeah, but you had to open your mouth!"   
  
"Well...how was I supposed to know the buffoon had a recording device on him?! Anyway, I know we'll succeed with another blow--" There was a click. "Shego? Shego?"   
**************************************************************************************  
"Wade!"   
  
"Yeah, Mom?"   
  
"There's someone here to see you."   
  
Wade turned around in his computer chair, nearly choking on the candy bar he was snacking on. "Lin? How on earth did you find me?! Not even Kim and Ron can and I supply them with plenty of tracking equipment!"   
  
Lin wrinkled her nose as she stepped over a bag of potato chips. "All the cholesterol! Remind me to tell you about nature's seven food groups--"  
  
"Chocolate, fizzy, fruit-flavored, fried, salty, gooey, and frozen?"   
  
"I rest my case."   
***********************************************************************************  
The salesmen brought in the crate. "One nightstand, in A-1 condition. Sign here."   
  
Ron did so.   
  
"Need assistance in carrying this out?"   
  
"No. Kim and I can handle it."   
  
"Yeah. Kim Possible can handle anything."  
  
Kim shrugged. "No big."   
  
"Ready, KP?"   
  
"Ready, Ron."   
  
Both took hold of the crate and lifted.   
  
Ron felt his grip weaken. Despite his efforts to hold on, his hands lost contact with the box. "Oops."   
  
Kim grabbed the box and held it before it could hit the ground. "I can't believe they thought you lifted those gems, Mr. Too-Weak-to-Handle-Anything-Heavier-than-a-naked-mole-rat." Crack. She squealed and dropped the box. "I BROKE A NAIL!"   
  
"Eeep!" Rufus leaped out of the box and caught the crate before it hit the floor. His little body struggled to keep it steady.  
  
"Kim?"   
  
"Yeah, Ron?"   
  
"Delaney's delivers."   
  
"Oh...good..."  
  
The End  



End file.
